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Monday, March 29, 2010


Ughh.. I am having a hard time with this whole saying goodbye thing and this is last time I will do this or meet up with this person. For the majority of my life, I didnt miss anyone. When I went to camp for week as a child in the summer, I could have stayed all summer. but then I went to college and worked at Falls Creek the summer of 1999. It changed my heart all the walls I had built to keep my heart safe came tumbling done. It was also the summer that I started dating my best guy friend Pete. He changed everything about how I felt about guys and relationhips, I had seen so many of friends get hurt in high school, had listened to my mom when she told me about all her mistakes she had made as a teenager, that I was determined that I would be a career woman living in a big city like New york and work on holidays at a small store in my free time from big career cause i wouldnt be coming home to see family. And yep here I sit a stay at home mom of two (by choice and choosing to live frugual) and married for 8 1/2 years.every seen the movie "bed of roses" yeah, I related to her so much. Thankfully God put people in my life to love on me and show me how to be a vessel of God's love and not an angry teenager... fast foward to 2009, 10 yrs later.-- We had a crazy year with adding a 2nd "planned but not scheduled " baby, Pete having a thryiod diease and Pete getting laid off from mercuiser all within 2 mths of each other.. The support of friends that prayed, cried, called to check up on us, took off work to come help with kids, u name they did it.. it was hard to let people help me but I learned.. and then Pete got a job in Kansas.. I am so grateful for the provision God has given us but starting to grieve the loss of my friends being so close. Now, granted I have alot of f very , very close friends that I only see a couple times a year but these are the girls that I scrapbook with, go to the movies, garage sell, go for walks with, the park, zoo, call when our kids are sick and we need someone to chat with that can say sentences that are at our level... yay.. I want to really enjoy this last three weeks and treasure it all but a part of me would like to just quietly leave town and so there is no finality in goodbye.. cause of most convertsations end with see ya Sunday, or call me and we can figure out when to meet up... Yes, I am praying that God Provides me with friends there but I also know that it takes time to build healthy friendships.well the early am walk is startin to kick in-
Good night---

all those thoughts..

Well I have had so many thoughts in my brain about moving that I had thought about blogging, so I just kept thinking about and thinking about it and then two of my close friends set one up so I was like I am gonna do it. I have some many things going on in my brain. We are moving to a new state, 30 min away from where I grew up. before my mom's illness took over her life. Its wierd driving around that area.. memories flood my brain and I think of so much so I thought this would be a great way to keep those updated on our move. It may be serious somedays, it may be funny somedays or sad, but it alway be the thoughts in my brain..